


Lessons From Madame Christmas

by Tui_and_La



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drama, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ishval Civil War, Roy Mustang backstory, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-07-07 02:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tui_and_La/pseuds/Tui_and_La
Summary: The adventures of a little boy growing up in a brothel.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is mostly for general audiences. However, there's some graphic depictions of violence and other heavy content in specific chapters that I'll make sure to let you know.  
> Also, this fic is not plot-driven, and although I didn't specify the number of chapters, it consists of a prologue + 9 chapters + extra chapters, which are smaller pieces I've been writing on the way.  
> You can go ahead and read now. :)

The sun was setting in the Capital and the two siblings shared a drink on the partially dark atmosphere of the empty bar while the girls were getting ready for the night.

\- Chris, you know when I say things, it’s for your own good. – he started cautiously, as if he could fool her by zigzagging the subject. 

\- Not again, Tony. – she rolled her eyes and took a sip from her whiskey glass.

\- You’re smarter than this. You should know he’s not gonna make you a detective. This isn’t the path, he’s just using you.

\- I’m also using him. To each their goal, that’s how it works. Connections, experience… I’m young, Tony, things come with time. For now, I’m an informant, and spying is what I love. Look, I know you’re not okay with me being a prostitute… 

\- Why should I be?! – in shock, the man stopped his glass midway to his mouth. - At first I thought this would only last while you were trying to prove father’s murder, but you already did, and things only escalated from there. 

\- Because it comes with benefits. First, we wouldn’t have opened your beloved bar so soon if it wasn’t for the income, second, we have the blue uniforms on our side, third, the girls help us keep the place at its peak. 

\- Yes, and now they’re even calling you _Madame_!

\- It’s a joke. – she laughed - A stupid one. 

\- You know what? It’s not all that stupid. You own The Velvet Drinks as much as I do. 

\- If I did I’d change that name. – she teased, but he didn’t play along. – Your point?

\- Maybe it’s time for you to settle as an owner. A madam, whatever. – he shrugged.

\- You kidding?! I am even younger than some of the girls here! _You_ run the house. I thought you loved working there, behind the bar.

\- I have a family now, Chris. Roy’s already two! He’s growing up and I just can’t take care of _everything_ anymore. How about I run the bar and you run the girls? The brothel was _your_ idea after all. 

\- Oh, I see. – she knew where that was going from the start, in fact – No.

\- Chris…

\- Tony, let’s be honest. – she said, impatient. - You thought you’d move to Central and start over. A new bar, a beautiful family, and some kind of integrity you only think the Mustang name has. I get it. But you didn’t have to accept me and my underground net in your plans. 

\- I don’t regret that. 

\- She’s gradually convincing you to leave all this behind. – Chris realized. - Hilarious, considering… 

\- It’s nothing to do with Leah. – the man admitted, then added with certain hesitation: - It’s for Roy. 

\- You can’t move to the other side of the city, then ask me to be some kind of role-model to the nephew I barely get to see.

\- Don’t act like it makes much difference to you whether you see him or not. – this time there was a trace of resentment in his voice.

\- Well, it doesn’t, I don’t even like kids. – Chris replied. – I don’t want the same life you’re seeking, Tony, but I want you to be happy. Just understand that I won’t fit your standards in order to participate in your family. 

\- You _are_ my family.

The affection in his words almost made her regret her own, however, she still hated the way her brother was isolating himself from everything they’d built together. 

\- I’m also a whore. – she confronted. – See? You cringe at that, but a whore is all they see, and I won’t get offended so easily. 

\- Is that really how it has to be? – he tried one last time.

\- Right now it’s the means to my end. You may try to color our pasts for the kid, Tony, but you can’t erase it. Is that how you plan to build him a “reputation”? 

\- If I have to. – he turned the last sip of his drink.

\- Fine. – she smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. - Just don’t get me involved. You know you can count on me to manage the brothel in what you can’t. No “Madame”, though. I’m twenty-three, not fifty. 

He smiled back.

\- You know that means they look up to you. They’re not the only ones. 

At that, Chris raised an eyebrow.

\- Oh, I admire you more than you think. And I’m unable to not support you, Chris, I'll never leave you alone. – Tony promised, although neither of them realized that such promise was out of his reach.


	2. On death

Chris Mustang was convinced that there were few worse ways to wake up to than with the police at your door, five in the morning, carrying a four-year-old orphan and the news of your brother’s death. In dark blue uniforms, they all spoke more gently than cops usually did, asking questions and giving information, then they left, and the child stayed. It all flashed by like a nightmare she couldn’t digest just yet.

Holding Roy’s hand, she took a deep breath and got ready to face the girls with their questions. Teresa, Tina and Sophie, who shared the house with her, had been too shaken with the news, so Chris had asked them to leave the room in order not to scare the boy. Now that it was only her and her nephew in the old living room, Chris could hear the movement in the kitchen and wondered if they were still crying.

\- Roy, sit here on the couch just for a minute, will you? I’ll be right back.

He did nothing but nod. So far, Roy hadn’t said a single word to her, and his aunt had no idea how to handle that. She couldn’t tell whether he was hiding in a shell or the shell was just empty. The boy sat as asked and began to play with the teddy bear he carried as if he could disappear among the cushions. 

On her way to the kitchen, Chris could hear the girls talk and could see Sophie’s light hair from behind, the messy curls hiding her face. 

\- I still c-can’t believe it. – the girl sobbed. 

\- It’s terrible, _both_ of them at once. – Teresa added.

\- Will they… send him to an orphanage, then? – asked Tina. 

\- He still has me. 

The three girls looked in her direction. 

\- _You’ll_ accept to raise he boy? – Tina seemed genuinely surprised, and Chris couldn’t blame her, since the dark haired girl shared her pragmatism. 

\- In what it concerns me, I have already accepted. – she gave a confident reply, although she didn’t quite feel the same way. 

\- That’s great, Chris! – Teresa was the youngest and most optimist of the group.

\- It’s an absurd. – Tina insisted. – _Here_ , on a brothel?

\- The police has the final saying on that. For now, the kid needs a place to stay.

\- We don’t need to discuss that now, girls. – Sophie decided to interfere.

\- There’s nothing to be discussed. – determined Chris. 

\- Sure, it’s better not to make decisions in the heat of the moment, after all, it’s a _kid_ …

\- My brother’s kid.

\- That you already abandoned in the living room.

\- _Abandoned?_ \- Chris felt her blood boil with that comment. – I only left for a moment, and he seemed eager to be alone! – she might not know much about children, but had always been a good observer, and it wasn’t hard to conclude that the boy was overwhelmed after the night he was put through.

\- Enough, Tina. – Teresa rarely took charge of a situation, but when she did, the blonde girl knew how to impose herself like no one else. 

\- Look, sorry, Chris, I didn’t want to be mean, it’s a hard situation… - she apologized. 

\- Yeah, we’re all stressed. – Sophie said.

\- I’ll bring Roy to eat. – it was all Chris said, glad that the kid wasn’t there to witness that talk. 

The boy eventually proved that Chris was right, though he did not look like the little Roy Mustang she knew, the smart, talkative child who liked to run everywhere. And so it continued to be the all day, which seemed to drag on without end.

There wasn’t a thing she offered that the boy would agree to eat. He joined them at the table for all meals, disinterested, in which Chris realized she had no patience to insist. If that was his way of dealing, so be it. Teresa, on the other hand, was persistent as she was gentle. The girl was her right arm, for she had an admirable ability to bring people together and create order. When she asked, Roy at least tasted a bit of something before putting it aside. He took sips of water and left, back to the same place on the couch where his coloring magazine was, and there he would scribble and listen to the phonograph that Chris put to play in an attempt to fill the emptiness of the environment.

In that space, he refused company to even play, and conveyed his message without almost talking or protesting. When Chris saw Sophie crying on the hallway, the girl said that "just by looking at him her heart shattered." She had to agree that the boy's soul was overflowing through the dark, narrow eyes, which she had never noticed were so expressive, and for the air of sadness on them, reminded her of his mother more than ever.

After dinner, Chris decided to just sit on the opposite side of the couch and watch the window, lamenting that she had nothing to do after everyone agreed not to open the bar for the night. To make things worse, late afternoon brought a heavy rain and now she couldn’t even go outside for what would be her fifth cigarette of the day. Chris had never been one to smoke much. Generally, she needed a good reason to fall into her addiction, and today she had all the reasons. One for Tony, one for Leah, one for the orphan thrown in her house, one for the future of her business. This time, one for the ache in her chest whenever she looked at the kid. 

_It’s only your lungs begging for mercy, Chris_ , she could tell herself. Or she could tell the rain to fuck off and smoke inside the house anyway. It was only her dictating the rules now, after all, and she owned no one explanations. Yeah, it seemed she was officially a madam, then. A guardian as well, not only of the boy, but the girls and everything she helped build.

\- Roy, get your things and let’s continue upstairs, on the bed. – she turned her attention from the window to her nephew, who had been fighting against his exhaustion for while for some reason she couldn’t get.

He put away his stuff and followed her without protest. Only when he got to the room Roy proceeded to talk:

\- Auntie Chris?

\- Yes?

\- Why did mom and dad died without me?

The absence of euphemism hit her harder than she expected, and Chris was caught off guard by a question she wasn’t sure she understood. The police officers had already explained the situation to him, she didn’t think she would have to touch on the subject. 

\- Look, they didn’t abandon you. They didn’t plan to go and leave you behind…

\- But I can still die with them, right?

\- What? No, you can’t!

There was one thing she hated about kids: they were completely unpredictable and liked to talk about things they couldn’t understand.  


\- Yes, I can! – he insisted with tears in his eyes. – There’s time, I want to go with them.

\- It’s not a trip, Roy! – Chris kneeled and held him by the shoulders. – You won’t meet them anymore, dying won’t make any difference.

That came off a lot harsher than she meant, and the boy was deadpan. However, he gazed her as if he was starting to comprehend, and she felt like staring at a mirror. Tony wasn’t going to show up there at night to work on the bar and talk about the bills, then take his kid home. 

\- I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. They wouldn’t want this for you, but they would want you to grow and live an amazing life, and I know I’m a terrible replacement for a parent, that I haven’t done much for you up to this day, and I don’t even know where to start, but I won’t disappoint my brother…

A lump in her throat interrupted her tumbling words and Chris sobbed, covering her face with her hands. It wasn’t fair that in the moment he needed most she felt incapable of pulling herself together. 

Chris felt Roy touch her hand and, opening her eyes, she saw him offering her the tip of the silky breadspread. 

\- What is it? – she voice failed. 

\- It’s polite.

Of course. Standing there, he was a reflection of his father. Anthony always carried with him a silky handkerchief in one of his pockets and always offered to anyone in need. On the bar, many went to broken or lonely hearts, and in rarer occasions, to bleeding faces. 

In that moment, Chris realized she didn’t hate the boy, never had. In fact, what she feared most now was that he hated her. Hadn’t she just given him all the reasons to cry? Then why was she the one collapsing in tears? 

For “being polite”, she took the piece of fabric from him and embraced the boy. 

\- I’m sorry, Roy, I’m so sorry they’re gone. – she sat on the bed with him in her arms. – All we have left is each other. Please, stay with me. 

They stayed in the nest of that hug for seconds on end, until a knock on the door stole her from her thoughts. 

\- You there, Chris? – it was Teresa’s voice. 

\- Come in. – she tried to wipe her tears in order to look presentable, but Teresa didn’t mention the scene she saw. 

\- Tina is crafting the sign we’re gonna put at the bar’s door for tonight, and Sophie is calling the other girls. We were also considering prepare a special night in his honor some day. He would like it, don’t you think?

Chris nodded, smiling. Without a doubt he would.

\- But what really matters now is a good rest, isn’t it, Roy? – Teresa played with his dark, messy hair. 

\- Thank you. – Chris put Roy in bed. He seemed about to fall asleep. 

\- We’re gonna work it out, Madame. – the girl put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. – All of us.

It was true that she wasn’t as alone as she felt, and maybe just didn’t have to do this by herself after all. She would need all the help she could gather.

\- Do you mind to stay here with him for a moment? I need a cigarette. 

\- Make it the last one. 

\- I’ve only had two. – Chris left before the other could say anything else, aware that she wasn’t fooling anyone. 

Chris proceeded to the living room and found that Sophie was no longer using the phone. Thus, she lit her cigar and dialed the number. 

\- Hello, Brigadier General. 

\- Christmas? 

\- Lucky me, you really are at home. How are you adapting to Central? 

\- I would say it suits me perfectly. But are you gonna keep acting like I didn’t read the news? I’m sorry about your loss, Christmas. 

\- Yeah… Well, I don’t suppose you’ll have time for the funeral, but it’ll be tomorrow 8am. Anyway, I called to ask you a favor. – she continued without giving him a chance to interrupt. – I was wondering how I could convice some blue uniforms of such healthy environment I have, so tidy and respectable and _appropriate_ …

\- That isn’t hard at all. – he laughed. – You and your brother always took good care of it and set rules. What I don’t comprehend, though, is since when you need help to conquer some new clients, Christmas?

\- Clients? That would be a welcome collateral… 

 

Chris woke up confused as the house was shaking. Soon she understood that the rain had turned into a storm, and turning to face the window, she noticed the empty space in her king-size bed where should be sleeping a little boy. Wonderful. She got up annoyed and left the room wondering whether the heavy sleepers on the house would’ve woken up with the thunders and would be entertaining the boy somewhere in the house, however, everything was dark and quiet on the second floor. Only when she approached the stairs Chris saw the light in the living room was on and heard the kid’s voice.

\- Can you take me home? Arnold is alone there and he’s scared of thunders. 

Chris didn’t know whether to believe the scene she found. There was Roy, sitting on the stool with his back for her and the phone on one ear.

\- My dog. – he held the device with both tiny hands and put it closer to his mouth to speak, then closer to the ear to listen. 

Roy had never had any pet. Of course, it had to be all just him playing, after all, four-year-olds couldn’t make calls. 

\- They died. – a pause. – They’re sleeping. Are you coming?

No, he couldn’t….

\- Roy, what are you doing? – Chris approached.

He turned around in a jump.

\- Calling the police. – he replied, then returned his attention to the phone. – There is an adult here now. 

Chris took the phone from him.

\- Hello?

\- _Hi, is this something serious?_ \- an impatient feminine voice emerged from the other side of the line, to Chris’s absolute surprise. - _Is there any dog needing rescue?_

It was really the police. The fucking police. Mouth dropped, she tried to reply:

\- Err, there is no dog, I apologize, but I guarantee he wasn’t pranking you. 

\- It’s my plush dog, he stayed. – Roy said, twisting a piece of her nightgown with two fingers.

\- _Okay, I have to go, then, have a good night._ \- the officer turned off before Chris could reply, which she could perfectly understand. 

\- You called the police because of a toy?

\- Arnold hates storms. 

\- How do you even _know_ how to call the police?

\- It’s for emergencies. Like the Emergency Song. 

\- The what?

\- Daddy made it. – he began to sing. – One, one, one, police is on the run. One, one, two, fireman comes to you. One, one, three, doctor comes to see! 

\- Wow. – it was all she could muster to say. _You just had to raise the stakes for me, Tony._

\- See, this is one – the boy pointed to the dial. –, this is two…

In that moment, he was interrupted by a strong lightning bolt which preceded endless second of a thunder. The house’s old structure acted like it would fall apart, and Roy flinched like a puppy about to be slapped. He began to cry. 

Just when Chris thought she had started to conquer his trust, he proves her completely wrong.

\- It isn’t just Arnold who’s afraid of thunders, is it? – she kneeled and placed a hand on his arm. 

He shook his head, sobbing.

She could at least be relieved that he was now speaking and crying like I child should. It didn’t matter that he didn’t seek comfort in her, because Chris could finally see Roy in front of her again, and that was the actual start point.

\- I wonder what the sky is going through, to be crying like that. – she said, not sure of where that silly talk were coming from. 

\- It’s not crying. It’s rain. – he replied sobbing. 

\- How do you know? Maybe the sky is not as bold and aggressive as it seems. Maybe you’re the one raining.

Part of her just wanted to distract her nephew and put him at ease. Another part needed desperately to reach him, to decipher his childish mind, to communicate. To connect.

\- Do you think the sky has lost someone? – he caught her by surprise. 

\- I don’t know. – but she had an idea now. – You like music, don’t you? – her hand wiped the tears on his cheeks. – What if we played for the skies? On the piano, shall we?

He agreed and stretched his arms towards her neck. Chris took him to the bar and sat on the piano stool with him on her lap. She began to play their usual lullaby, challenging the chaotic storm with the peaceful melody. 

No word was spoken between the two of them as her fingers continued to trail the keyboard, lost in thought. When had it been the last time she played for him? Chris couldn’t pin the specific occasion, only various times Leah came to her with an agitated baby in her arms asking for some music, and she would do so gladly because that was easier than holding the boy or playing with him. Then Tony would come from wherever he was when he heard the melody, the one he’d created – that is, he hummed for Chris to bring it to life – and asked his sister to one day teach his son to play, if so he wanted. She never made promises. 

Her left arm was slowed down by an increased weight as Roy’s body relaxed on her lap. He’d fallen asleep again. She had lost notion of time, maybe it had been much longer than it seemed. Outside, thunders and lightning bolts were ceasing, so there might still be hope for a dry morning. Inside, she hoped their fierceness would stay. 

 

*~*~*~*

 

At seven, the bar would open its doors to welcome the clients, but it wasn’t until around ten that the place would be at its peak, when the tables were full and the requests abundant, when the chatty sounds began to compete with the phonograph music and the smell of alcohol overcame the scent of perfume. The cycle of the night would be complete about two hours later, once the remaining pairs began to leave the lounge seeking privacy elsewhere.

Christmas was behind the bar preparing some of those complicated drinks youngsters came early to ask when she saw Roy Mustang cross the door. The man’s eyes scanned the room quickly and certain of what they were looking for, then he approached the group sitting by the counter and asked her if Madeline was around. That was all she would see of her nephew in the next hour, while the girl showed up to grab some drinks to one of the tables at the back.

Madeline was a silent company, an art she had perfected in ways Chris herself couldn’t comprehend. The girl was an introvert, but not shy in nature, as proved by the many connections she had throughout the country. She was somehow aloof, yet her presence was remarkable and she moved as if enveloped in a veil of mystery, which was enough to sparkle many men’s curiosity. That was their mistake, though, for while you tried to decipher Madeline, she was deciphering you. 

On the other hand, Roy was aware of that as much as he knew that the girls read the newspapers. By picking Madeline, he was setting boundaries and asking to be comprehended without being questioned. He needed home, but wouldn’t be ready without a good dose of alcohol first.

He was still fighting a battle against grief and Chris respected that.

Her wary eyes noticed when the colonel passed by arm in arm with the girl, bearing a hollow smile on his face. The two of them left without paying, meaning they would return soon – a privilege he attempted without asking. Chris returned her attention to the request of a lonely client and gave him his drink when she heard the phone ring. 

\- Good evening, is it Madam Christmas? 

That was a voice she didn’t hear in person in a long time, and certainly had never heard on the phone. 

\- Good evening. Elizabeth. 

\- I suppose you’re busy, but I only called to know whether… the colonel is there. 

Chris had no doubt the Riza would’ve come with him, after all, Maes Hughes was also her friend. However, if Roy needed distance even from the Lieutenant, the situation was even more delicate than what she’d pictured.

\- You’re right to worry, given the circumstances. – Chris guaranteed, after noticing the hesitation in the woman’s voice. – He got here a bit over an hour ago. I can convince him to stay for the night. It won’t be so hard after the third glass. – she joked, considering Roy had always been weak for drinks.

\- Sounds good. – her relief was now evident. – The train departs at eight-thirty tomorrow.

\- Leave it to me, he’ll be there in time. How are _you_ , though, Elizabeth? 

\- It was a hard funeral. – she went silent for a moment, searching for words. – It’s like… It’s like we could still come across him around here at any time. 

\- You have my sympathies.

\- Thank you. But I won’t bother you anymore, Madame, I just wanted to confirm…

\- Rest, dear. He’s safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ok, but how did they die?", you may be wondering, but I decided not to focus on that yet. I'll touch on it later. ;)


	3. On babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, this chapter was incredibly fun to write and it just doesn't have enough Hughes. But there is more of him to come. :D

Roy was five years old when he learned how babies were made.

\- Where did that question come from? – Madam asked, cleaning the dust off the beverage shelves.

\- I saw Tina telling Sophie that she needed to be careful tonight because she didn’t want to get a baby. 

Ah, damn. He was hearing more than he should on the house again. Unfortunately, she couldn’t really blame the girls for not being able to avoid certain topics. 

\- There it is. That’s the one thing you need to know about babies: don’t make one.

\- Why not?

\- Because then you’re gonna have to raise them, educate them. You’re gonna have to feed them and spend money with them.

\- Okay… So how do I not make a baby?

Madame paused her task and turned around to face the boy, who had the expression of someone who is determined to get an answer. He was getting too smart too fast, was that normal development? Did five-year old brains work like that? She took Roy in her arms and sat him on the counter.

\- Very well, then, I’ll tell you. 

He better be prepared, because there was only one way to approach the subject, and she didn’t plan to run from it. 

\- You have, between your legs – Chris pointed. –, a penis, right?

Roy nodded. 

\- Men have penis, but women have something different, a vagina. – that wasn’t a bad start, she concluded.

\- Vagina. – he repeated as a note to self. – Different how?

Now Chris was beginning to regret the conversation. 

\- It has a channel to the belly from where the baby comes out. 

The boy frowned and she made sure he wouldn’t have much time to think things through. 

\- Now here’s a very important part: man and woman have got to talk a lot until they decide to have a baby. After that, they can put together the halves of the seeds they carry with them, and that’s what is going to grow into a baby.

\- How are they carrying the seeds?

\- They are produced by the body. – that was getting a bit harder than she thought, and Roy obviously wasn’t done with the questions yet. 

\- And how do they put the seeds together?

\- Err, they were going to… hug, then the man touches the vagina with his penis and puts his half in there.

\- Madame! What in the world are you telling the kid?! – the question came from Teresa, who was passing by the lounge and bared a horrified expression.

\- Roy asked me how babies were made, so I’m explaining. 

\- Explaining for real? The whole thing, _for real_? – her green eyes widened as she raised an eyebrow.

\- Any problem with that?

\- Any prob…! – Teresa cracked up, making her long blonde hair fall on her face. – Couldn’t you just talk about the birds and the bees?

\- That bullshit? No way I’d tell such big lie…

\- Didn’t you even spare him from the details? – Teresa remained unbelieving.

\- Of course I’m skipping details! – Chris affirmed, but her confidence melted the next second. – What exactly do you mean by “detail”? 

\- Oh, poor kid, it’s too late!

\- Excuse me, but he is following just fine if you wanna know. – sometimes it was annoying how no one seemed to put faith on the education she was giving the boy. – Am I right, Roy?

The two women turned to the kid who swung his legs on the counter observing the discussion with a bored look on his face. He nodded in response.

\- See? – Madame said, victorious. 

Teresa simply facepalmed and continued in the direction of the stairs, whispering what sounded like “unbelievable”.

\- I’ll teach him to use protection, ok, I’m not being irresponsible here. 

\- He’s only _five_ , Chris! – Teresa shouted without turning back. 

Well, maybe it was too soon for that, in fact.

\- What about these birds and bees? – the boy asked innocently. 

Now Chris couldn’t believe that she went through all that explaining so he would be curious about the fake version!

\- Don’t mind Teresa, Roy. Look, people like to give stupid answers to kids. Just don’t go around talking about this in school, ok? – she whispered in his ear. – Can you play a game of keeping a secret? 

\- Yeah!

\- Great! Now go back and let me work, deal?

\- Ok. But auntie Chris…

\- Yes?

No, please, no more questions.

\- You didn’t want to take care of a baby?

\- No, that was never for me.

Oh, wait. She got the question now. She had really sounded like kids were a burden just minutes ago, wasn’t it? And there she thought he would forget the talk in t-minus, one day, but he was paying close attention. To everything. He wanted to know if he was a burden, too. 

He deserved the truth about that, too. 

\- I was still too young to think of kids when you were born, Roy, but I already didn’t have plans for a family, you know? I was thinking about compromises to anyone. For you father, family was everything. – Roy’s deep dark eyes doubled their attention at the mention of Tony. – Once ours was destroyed, I think he wanted so bad to have a home again. I kind of went the opposite direction… - she found herself distracted for a moment. - It’s true that kids can be a _pain_ and hardwork – she teased him by messing up his hair, and got a smile in return. –, but you know what? I still miss your dad a lot, frequently, and in those times I’m happy to have you around. I’m glad he left you here for me. 

\- - - -   
The clock showed 6 PM and Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang could barely wait to finish his work and call it a day. Except that, on the other side of the line, Maes Hughes kept the conversation flowing for the past ten minutes, begging that he went to Central as soon as possible in order to pay a visit to his newborn, Elicia. Excited, Maes informed that she was changing real fast in the first couple of weeks and becoming the cutest thing ever; he thanked for all the times his friend and the Second Lieutenant put him at ease in their phone talks; he insisted that Roy took Riza with him, saying that, if they really needed, they could take work with them as well; he highlighted that they also didn’t need to worry about hotel because they had two beds for visitors at home, and Elicia didn’t even cry at night… 

Roy took a deep breath. What Hughes didn’t know was that there was no need for the insistence. Despite his bad mood from the long, stressful hours of work, Roy had already given a yes. Yes, he would do all he could to go next week, since things in the office weren’t out of control. Yes, he really wanted to pay them a visit and yes, he would hold the little girl in his arms and even take pictures with her. He owed Maes that much.

For months on end, Roy had followed – involuntarily – his best friend’s preoccupations and expectations first hand. In the meantime, he had seen Maes turn into the happiest and most inspiring version of the already radiant boy Roy’d met at the Academy years ago. And unlike the pragmatic view of parenthood that Madame cultivated, his friend made everything sound like the best life experience someone could go through. Or some miraculous remedy to a past without repair. That, colliding against Madame’s convincing power, almost made Roy wish he had the chance to be a father one day. 

Just out of cheer curiosity, Roy told himself, he’d bring out both extremes during some chat with the Lieutenant on their way to Central, and see which end of the spectrum she was leaning to.

 

Of course, he went straight back to his aunt’s perspective once he woke up to the sound of a baby crying her throat out. He didn’t open his eyes for about a minute, hoping it would stop.

\- I can’t believe it. – Roy muttered. – Gotta be a nightmare.

\- So you’re awake now. – he heard the Lieutenant’s voice from the other bed. 

\- Implying that this has been going on for longer? 

\- Yes, over ten minutes now, it wasn’t this loud at first. – he turned in her direction and found her using the pillow to cover her ears.

That’s when he decided to check the clock. Two-fifteen in the morning. No. No way. 

\- Why did I fall for her being _quiet_? 

\- I’m sure he was being honest, sir. But she spent the whole day sleeping, I didn’t think it was possible for a baby to sleep _that_ much. 

He had to agree to that. Elicia had just fallen asleep when they arrived late morning after a night’s trip sleeping on a train’s cabin. They were now exhausted. Elicia was probably at her peak. He buried his head on the pillow, regretting his life choices.

\- Do you think we should go help, sir?

He could hear the sounds of the parents outside and see a line of light peaking from underneath the door. 

\- I’m only getting out of bed if to search for the nearest hotel. – Roy kept his voice as low and unarticulated as possible, trying to preserve his lethargy. – Besides, two people should be enough to handle a baby and I’m sure I can go back to sleeping soon. – he closed his eyes.

\- Hum. – her reply sounded less like laziness and more like being unable to relate. 

Suddenly, they heard Maes desperate voice. 

- _We have to call emergency!_

The Colonel and the Lieutenant shared a worried look, their alert mode now triggered. They saw in each other’s eyes the confirmation of their next move. Both jumped out of bed and ran to the nursery. 

\- What happened?

\- What’s wrong with the kid?

\- How can we help?

They asked, pumped by adrenaline. 

\- Will you all just relax? – Gracia begged in a tired voice, covering her breast after an apparent refusal from an agitated Elicia. – It’s just a crying baby. 

\- She doesn’t cry like that! – corrected Maes. 

\- I’m so sorry she woke you up. – the woman ignored her husband. – This is very unusual of her.

The two visitors nodded in attempt to be polite.

\- She doesn’t want milk, she doesn’t want to cuddle or play, she doesn’t need to change diapers… - said Maes, gesturing with a pacifier on his hand. 

\- Then it’s probably belly ache. – Gracia laid her daughter in bed, where a lot of baby stuff was scattered. 

\- So, huh, it’s all good? – Riza tried. 

\- All good? She’s hurt and terrified and we can’t even comfort her.

Roy sighed, unable to swallow that he’s just got out of bed for nothing. He put his hand on Maes’ shoulder and gave him a deadly look.

\- Pull yourself together and be a man to your wife. - he pointed at Gracia, who was moving Elicia’s legs up and down. – Look at that amazing woman actually trying to find a solution and go help! 

Maes nodded with fierce determination. Great. Roy really needed to sleep. 

\- Thank you. You didn’t have to come here, but you guys did. 

\- Yeah, and we’re going back now, shall we? – he turned to the Lieutenant. 

\- Sure, I don’t think we’re being of much use. Good luck, guys. 

The both heard a fart and an unpleasant smell filled the room in the next second. Definitely their invitation to leave. 

Outside, the clock pointed at 2:30 AM.

\- Good grief, that kid can’t have been crying for the past half an hour straight. – the Colonel said.

\- Well, I won’t be able to sleep until she stops. - the Lieutenant pinched the bridge of her nose.

\- I’ll get some water before I go back to the room, would you like some? – he offered with a yawn.

\- Good idea. I’ll just go with you, sir. 

When they arrived on the kitchen, they realized that Elicia’s cries weren’t only drifting away, they were actually ceasing. Not long later, Maes came in their direction with his daughter in his arms and a teddy bear in one hand.

\- Look at who’s in a super good mood now and wants to play. You can finally hold her!

He couldn’t be serious.

\- We’re actually… - Roy began. 

\- Really, please just play with her or she’ll cry. – he begged, already pushing his girl carefully towards his friend. - Gracia’s putting everything away and I can’t hold my bladder anymore. 

Roy instinctively pushed his glass to Riza and took Elicia in his arms.

\- Err, okay, but I can’t hold the baby and the bear. – it seemed enough of a responsibility to handle the _living_ squishy thing. 

\- Sure, Riza, please? I got to go now. 

Roy expected the girl to start crying the moment her father disappeared, but the Lieutenant began to distract her waving the toy above her.

\- Huh, here’s Mr. Teddy Bear. 

\- Why don’t you hold the baby and I hold the plush? 

\- I’m fine with my task, sir. – she didn’t buy his suggestion. 

At least he tried.

\- Do you, uh, think I’m doing this right?

\- Well, she’s smiling. – Hawkeye said in a soft voice.

\- Oh, she really is. Keep playing, Lieutenant. 

\- She’s smiling _at you_ , sir. 

\- No way! – he mocked, but in a second look… - She really is staring at me.

\- You’re a really cute girl, Elicia. 

\- Yeah, let’s give her some credit, she was just hurt. 

On his way back to the bathroom, Maes saw his two friends smiling at his daughter, and that made him melt with pride. 

\- They were struck by the power of Elicia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, I'm don't usually venture into humor, and things will be back to serious next chapter, so what a great breather.   
> Comments are always welcome!


	4. On fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: graphic depictions of violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?! :-D I apologize to each of you who subscribed and has been waiting for three months now, but here it is. It was challenging to balance the pace and the dialogue on this one, but I guess I've figured it out.

All he wanted to do was to read the inscription on that one bottle on the top shelf. Roy had just noticed how that one had funny letters, but they were letters indeed and he needed to figure it out. Everybody expected him to learn to read now and he needed to be independent, so that his teacher and auntie Chris gave him proud smiles like mom and dad used to. 

His aunt wouldn’t be mad if he was really careful. She definitely wouldn’t be mad if he was quick and stealthy, because then she wouldn’t even know! Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Roy didn’t need to risk a lecture on how kids should stay away from glass. 

He stared defiantly at the stool behind the bar, so close to the rack, so aligned with that one bottle. The stools were high even for grown-ups, whose legs couldn’t touch the floor once they sat. Roy bet he could reach the bottle just by standing on his knees, so he dragged his bare feet silently around the bar and climbed the stool. His eyes tested the distance, but he still couldn’t understand the funny letters written in red against the creamy background on the dark bottle. His ears checked if someone’s was coming and his tiny hand reached out for the desired object while the other one held onto the shelf for support. Yes, he could make it, he was really close now….

.

– What else? – Chris tapped the pen on the notebook. 

– Oh, please add that cherry mint liquor. – Sophie asked. 

– Did I hear it right? – Tina joined the group in the pantry with a vigorous laughter. – That _mistake_? 

– Nobody likes that shit. – Teresa rolled her green eyes. 

– My client does. – Sophie affirmed. 

– Oh, well, curious to know who. – Chris was equally surprised at the blonde girl’s statement. 

– James Copperfield. The one with the black hat and thick mustache. 

– I bet he doesn’t. He’s just showing off because it is expensive. 

– I bet you’re jealous I got a rich one, Tina. 

– No, Sophie, we have priorities…

\- Cherry mint liquor, then. – Madame pointed her words as she wrote them down. 

– Madame!

– Look, I’m with Tina on this one. – Teresa stepped up to argue - It is a lot of money on a 12fl oz bottle that only interests a single client. 

– He is, however, a recurrent client, and Sophie here is gonna make sure he savors that _wonderful_ drink next time he comes, won’t you, Sophie?

– Believe me or not, he asked for it! – it was Sophie’s time to mock the situation. 

– And I get a good money by selling it in shots, so it’s decided. 

– Hey, if we’re all here, is Roy still on the front? Because I didn’t see the brat in the house when I was coming. 

– Don’t call him a brat, Tina. 

– Sure, never mind, the _little angel_ must be in his room. 

– Yes, like Madame told him to. 

Chris didn’t need to consider going there to check, though. In that moment, they heard the sound of shattering glass, followed by an agonizing cry, and she was on her way without a thought. 

She arrived at the bar to see the six-year-old bawling in shock on the floor with a gash on his right foot. More flagrant than that only the red pool surrounding him, which made her heart skip a beat. When the girls entered the room, they were equally terrified.

\- Holy fuck. – that was Teresa’s voice. 

\- What? Is there a lot of blood? – Tina asked. 

\- A crime scene lot of blood. – Sophie replied. 

\- It’s alright, Roy. – Chris tried to calm him down, but the girls weren’t helping. 

\- You can’t handle it, Tina, go away. – she saw Teresa pushing the dark-haired girl away. 

\- It’s mostly wine, for fuck’s sake, look at the top shelf! – Chris said told them, frustrated. – Put yourselves together and stop scaring the child! 

\- I’m bleeding to d-death! – he bawled. 

\- No, you’re not bleeding to death, Roy. – she picked him up. 

\- Yes, I am, it’s bad! 

Chris got up to see Teresa looking for a cloth and ordering Tina to call emergency and Sophie to clean the floor. She sat Roy on the bar and held his foot up turning her full attention to him now. 

\- It’s not as bad as it seems, okay? 

It was still pretty bad, though, and it was leaving stains on her dress and his leg. There was a deep cut running from the middle of his sole to the side, so she concluded he had to be kneeling when the bottle fell. Chris used her body to keep him from looking at the gash. The six-year-old buried his face on her chest and hugged her. She felt him tremble and his heart pump in despair. 

– It _hurts_ , mama. 

Chris froze for a second, taken aback. Did she hear it right? Did he call her “mama”?

\- It’s the alcohol, Roy, it makes it hurt a lot more. – Teresa approached them and took his foot in her hand. – Now I’m gonna wrap it up to contain the bleeding, okay, brave boy? 

\- No…

\- Breath in and out, dear. – Chris held his hands.

Roy started, but his attempt turned into more crying. 

\- It’s okay, it’s done, I’ll grab some ice for you. 

\- Look at me, hey, Roy, eyes on me. No need to panic, pay close attention and you’ll see it’s not as bad as you think. You’ll get through this, kid. See that on the floor? There is a lot more wine than blood.

His teary eyes went from her to the disaster on the floor, but Chris couldn’t say whether he trusted her or not. 

\- Do you see how those stains start on the shelf, where the bottle broke? That’s the wine, it is purple-ish, see? Then, they continue to the stool, where there’s only a bit of blood in red. You lost balance and fell, didn’t you? Now, look on the floor, all the area under the stool and beside it, that is a pool of wine, too. – there was quite some blood as well, but she didn’t need to focus on that. 

\- Doctor’s on the way! – Chris heard Tina shout. 

Sophie, who was coming to collect the glass pieces on the floor, caressed the boy’s head from behind the bar and said:

\- See, Roy? You gotta hold on a bit longer, okay? 

He nodded, then hugged his aunt again. 

\- I j-just wanted to read the funny letters by myself. Sorry. 

Roy had started to read with his parents, when he was four. It wasn’t more than separate words, but Chris remembered Tony’s excitement when he’d shared the news with her. After they died, however, the kid’s response to her attempts was always “I don’t know”, which wasn’t in line with the boy who could identify the numbers on the telephone. For over a year he continued to show no improvement even though he loved to have her and the girls read for him. Now that they were actually teaching it in school, Chris had noticed how Roy didn’t want to get behind his classmates, and wondered if he was finally ready to let go of the last remaining of his grief. 

\- I won’t be mad at you, you learned your lesson the worst way. Just don’t scare me like that again, kid. 

\- Sorry. – a few sobs still escaped him, but she felt his heart slowing down now. 

\- So, tell me, did you manage to read before you dropped it?

\- Yeah. – a tiny smile appeared on his mouth and Roy looked into her eyes like he wanted to capture her reaction. - I think it said Stray Dog, but the “y” looked like a “v” and the big “d” looked like an “o”. 

\- Oh, wow, you read a hard one! – Sophie said on her way out. – Nice job! 

\- And you’re correct, Stray Dog is a fairly cheap brand of drinks, not just wine. Are you feeling any better?

\- A bit. It’s hurting a lot, auntie.

\- Here comes the ice! – Teresa came running and waving a piece of cloth like a bag. 

\- That’s the price of disobeying, Roy-boy. – she kissed his forehead. – What do you say we read some other bottles together?

 

*~*~*~*~*

 

\- Have you never been to a lake house?

\- I was too little.

\- A friend’s house with a pool?

\- Nope. 

\- Some field trip from school?

\- _No_. 

\- But you did say you used to go to a lake near your master’s house with that girl Riza. 

\- For the last time, Maes, I cannot swim, as in, I haven’t. Fucking. Learned. This shit.

Roy was starting to get annoyed at Hughes for tagging along. He just wanted to get acquainted with the place, appreciate the incomparable warmth of the Southern sunset before dinner. Take a better look at the lake. 

\- Alright, alright, don’t be mad, I wasn’t mocking you. – Maes raised his hands apologetically. - It’s just that you definitely worded it to sound like you could, that day. 

\- I did not. I said we used to go to the lake, that could be many things, a walk, stone skipping, the sorts. – Roy grabbed a stone and threw on the water. - Actually, she once offered to teach me, but Master Hawkeye disapproved the idea because we both got a cold from splashing water one day when it was cool and sunny. He also mentioned something about the city boy and his daughter being improperly dressed. 

\- Well, now you’re gonna learn fully dressed, boots and all. So Riza knew, huh? You could’ve told me, I’m your friend too. 

\- So you would act with the purest disbelief the way you did? What is even so surprising about not knowing how to swim? I bet people who live on the coast would find it weird that us, Amestrian, have never seen the ocean. 

\- I would love to see the ocean someday! Don’t be scared, Roy, swimming is great, and of course they’ll start from the basics, they asked in our files. 

\- I’m not scared.

\- No one ever died in these trainings. - he shrugged and Roy raised him an eyebrow. 

\- I’m not scared. I _was_ sick, though, of everyone intentionally trying to scare non-swimmers by making it sound impossibly hard while they bragged about their skills. 

\- You’re too fucking proud. – Maes smiled. - Stop checking the lake every thirty seconds, you’re gonna do great.

\- We had a pool. There’s a pool in East Academy, why not start there? Why bring us to boot camp on the South? 

\- The Great Lake of the South. – Hughes raised his finger in sync with his chin, in order to look smart. - Historical mark since we conquered the city of Inaya ten years ago… 

\- When General Dano made the risked, and never considered by the enemy, decision of crossing the lake in order to put an end to the battle. The lake was too shallow for a ship and they didn’t have boats for everyone, but we manage to surprise Aerugo despite the amount of sacrificed soldiers. Yeah, we learned the story already. 

\- _That_ is what we’re here to honor. That battle nearly put an end to the conflicts on the South. Ever since, we only have a few spots where the war continues. It’s our hope that someday we might actually become a peaceful country. 

\- You’re right. I’ve never been in a place like this, and I’m gonna make the most of it. 

\- It’s a beautiful lake, though, don’t you think? 

 

Breathtaking. 

As Roy moved his arms and legs incessantly in an attempt to keep his head out of the water, he concluded that _breathtaking_ was the ideal description for the landscape. The hot southern sun kept the water in a comfortable temperature and highlighted the various colors of his surroundings while the dark lake mixed all of them in its reflection. However, none of that mattered to the cadet once he stepped to deeper waters, and all he could see now was a blurred, blinking version of nature.

\- Do it slower, steadier, or else you’re gonna get worse cramps. – Maes suggested.

\- Gimme some credit, my head’s out the water. – he replied, annoyed at how effortlessly his friend treaded water even with one arm holding a 70 pounds dummy.

Personally, Roy could barely hear with the buzzing on his ears, his throat and nose hurt from swallowing and aspiring water and his lungs didn’t seem satisfied with the deepest breaths. Despite the struggle, he’d learned everything they’d practiced for the last two hours, which was more than the couple of cadets who were cut off from the next exercise for not being ready.

It was the only mission left to accomplish before calling it a day, given as a chance to apply what they’d learned about breathing, diving and returning to the surface. The beginners were paired with the swimmers and transferred to deeper waters – that is, 12 feet deep, nothing compared to the depth the lake could reach.

\- Attention, cadets! - said the southerner First Lieutenant who would lead the training. - On the count of three, the ones with the dummy will drop it, let it sink for the next 10 seconds, and the others will submerge and bring it back to the surface. Understood?

\- Yes, sir!

\- It has about the size and weight of a child, would you carry a drowning child by a limb or a neck?

\- No, sir!

\- Would you let the child drowning while you emerge for breath?

\- No, sir!

\- Then why is your child’s head underwater?

Roy and Maes, along with everybody else, looked at the team on their right.

\- Sir, sorry, sir!

\- You two are going to repeat the exercise. Cadets, remember everything you learned today and return to the surface holding the dummy by its chest. Then your partners will bring it to the shore and you’ll be dismissed. We’re not practicing first-aid today. 

\- Yes, sir!

\- Ready to get this over with? – Maes shot him an encouraging look, to which Roy nodded with confidence.

He was too lucky Hughes managed to get by his side when the pairs were being selected. Just having his friend with him was enough to keep his calm and concentration alive when his body wanted to give up, but he also happened to be an excellent swimmer.

\- On the count of three… two… one, drop the dummies.

Maes did as ordered and an expression of relief invaded his face. Meanwhile, Roy concentrated solely on breathing in and out, until it was time to prepare to submerge.

\- … One. Go!

The cadet dove as he’d practiced countless times that day, forcing his body down and using his arms to push the water up. He thought solely of the best way to reach the dummy at the bottom and bring its weight back to the surface, since this time he’d have to move from the upright position in order to catch his target. Roy inclined his body down trying to ignore the pressure raising his chest, and his hands circled the dummy’s chest. 

_Up, up, up_ , his mind hurried him to emerge, so he pulled the dummy closer and kicked his legs faster.

That was his mistake.

A sudden, acute flush of pain attacked his right foot and quickly spread to his calf, making him gasp and release most of the air he had. Roy felt himself sinking as he recoiled involuntarily and his hand wrapped around his boot.

A million thoughts crossed his mind in the next couple of seconds.

He needed air. 

The surface looked a mile away.

He needed air. 

No one could see him. 

His lungs were pounding his ribcage for some oxygen.

He tried to move, his limb protested and he bit his lip not to groan again. 

He couldn’t swim with one leg. 

He didn’t how to swim _at all_. 

His nose was already pulsing to breathe in. 

His foot continued to send waves of pain up his leg. 

_Help…_

_Look at me, hey, Roy, eyes on me. No need to panic, pay close attention and you’ll see it’s not as bad as you think. You’ll get through this, kid._  

Roy opened his eyes and focused on quickly spotting the surface and Maes. His friend’s legs were close by as expected, but still not close enough to reach. 

_You don’t need to swim._

His left foot made contact with the bottom of the lake and he propelled himself up, also using his free hand to frantically pull down the water, and after a lifetime, Roy found air again. For a moment he thought he was going to break down in tears, however, all he could do was breath, groan in pain and try not to swallow water. 

\- Hey, it’s alright, you did it. – Maes took the dummy from his arms and he felt immediately lighter, which really helped him return to his senses. – Use your hands to tread, remember? 

Roy kept his right leg still and embraced every word coming from his partner, aware that his only goal now was to leave the lake. 

\- Is everything okay over there? – he heard the First Lieutenant’s distant voice.

\- Cramps, sir! – he replied as loud as he could manage. 

– Do you need rescue?

– No, sir! Getting better, sir! – Roy lied, rushing his words for air. 

– Sure? – Maes whispered, preparing to swim back to the shore. 

– I’m getting the fuck out now. – he allowed his body to float the best he could. 

– Stubborn bastard. – the other man smiled. – Put a hand on my shoulder. 

Still panting heavily, Roy chuckled and grabbed Maes’ sleeve. Once his good foot met the bottom of the lake again, he had forgotten the weight of his own body, so he gathered his remaining strength to limp to the shore, where his partner was already delivering the dummy. He sat on the ground and began to unlace his boot. 

\- It seems you weren’t getting better, cadet…? – he heard the Sergeant coming to his side along with Maes. 

\- Mustang, sir. 

\- As I was telling Cadet Hughes, in any circumstance one should try to save more than one person when there are other people around able to act. However, on the scenario we practiced where you should only count with one another, you are right not to let your irresponsible partner think he can safely swim with cramps. 

\- Sir. 

\- Sorry, sir. 

\- Cadet Mustang, for a beginner, you demonstrated dedication and seriousness in your assignment as soldier must. The pride to refuse help doesn’t exist in war, however, you still accepted support from your partner. You two worked well as a team. 

\- Sir. – they replied in unison. 

The Sergeant turned around and proceeded to talk to another team. Roy hadn’t stopped to notice the handful of pairs that had failed their assignment, but now he watched as the Lieutenant ordered them to repeat the process. 

\- Ishval doesn’t have big lakes, or wild rivers, or endless oceans. – he mentioned, distracted.

\- Uh, no, it doesn’t. – Maes gave him a questioning look. 

\- Then what are we doing here on the South, if our fight is in a dry sea of sand? 

\- Didn’t we have this conversation yesterday? – the man frowned. 

\- But I understand now, don’t you? We didn’t come for swimming lessons. As soldiers, we are disposable, but we can’t accept that fact. We need to learn not to fear. 

Roy allowed himself to appreciate the landscape’s reflection on the lake, this time, as a conqueror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, leave your thoughts bellow, they really help me feel that what I write is good enough to leave the Word document. :-)


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